Synergise; multitasking; emotional leakage; wow factor; goal-oriented; big picture; long-term; tip of the iceberg; go the extra mile; resource constrained; multidisciplinary; tee-up; total quality management; work breakdown structure; think outside the box; workshop; push the envelope;synergistic; powerpoint presentation; mentoring; incentivise; holistic; cradle-to-grave approach; project manager; team leader.

This list demonstrates why I have always had an insanely strong abhorrence of the business world. Of course, money hungry wankers in Gucci ties, Armani skirts and a chip on their shoulder are a great deterrent; however, they are most likely the people to be spouting this dribble and getting away with it.

My personal most hated is ‘wow factor’. Ouch. If something has wow factor, I probably don’t want anything to do with it. It probably involves Adobe Flash or a presentation at a conference or networking. I understand the value of all of this crud to the people involved, and I get why they speak and act this way. I just wish the world wasn’t such a capitalist suck hole.

Seriously, I think that I am going to take off to a deserted area (preferably an island with lovely clear water) and write books by hand and wear fisherman pants with a torn shirt. I would very much like to escape all talk of money and stuff and things and material. I went on a trek in Thailand last year, and stayed with a tribe in the hills near Burma. They had a water system hooked up through the village that was masterful yet so simple, and they were eating the most wonderful, fresh food. The kids were happy, playing in the dirt and mud looking gleeful, and there were animals all about, including the pig I ate for dinner in my stir fry. I told some people about this experience and they screwed up their noses and said I was mental for enjoying it. Each to their own, I guess, but boy, are they missing out.

Anyhew, that was an unexpected and ungraceful rant against ‘the man’, spurned by the business speak that I despise. Check out the site below and see some other poor people’s most hated. It is semi-comforting to know there are others out there, across the globe, wishing to drop out like I want to.

“50 office speak phrases you love to hate” UK News Magazine